"Maybe if he had some nice, comfy Uggs," she teases, eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief.

"Shit, between school, cheer, student council, work and bullying Bear and Cori every day, I ain't got time to sort out who is and isn't a vampire." She reaches into Mr. Berzelius' other pocket and pulls out a wallet, and Mary Grace is willing to bet all the money in this thing there's an unused condom from college still in there.

"Wasn't there something about a werewolf teacher though?" She flips open the wallet and starts to dig through it. "Maybe it's little Alvy himself."