peckenpaugh | THE COMPATOMATIC ALGORITHMIC ROMANCE DETERMINATOR

arithromantic

what's up? I ask you, what is more romantic than having your life experience reduced to a series of numbers that are then compared to the distillate numbers of your peers in order to predict the likelihood of a successful romantic interaction? Nothing. Literally nothing is more romo than science.

Anyway, there's a strange metallic gray box set up in the cafeteria today, the sort of thing you'd see in a 1950s newsreel breathlessly gushing about the push-button future. It has one wicked looking jointed arm that seems like it's intended to draw blood, but it has been partially disassembled and seems to pose no threat. Beneath the machine is a sign:

Say hello to CARDe-B, the Compatomatic Algorithmic Romance Determinator, version B!

CARDe just wants to help you find love, and she'll do that with the indisputable power of NUMBERS. Press the front button to begin. Fill out a punch card and reinsert it into the feeder. In a week, CARDe will determine the compatibility of all entrants and you will receive a confidential owl with your results. All cards will be securely recycled after processing. Your privacy is important to us!
- Adrian and CARDe

how this works! ⬥ Desperate for love? Seeking your heart's desire? Maybe you just want a date to the dance? Adrian Gildersleeves has an arithmancy-artificing project set up in the Cafeteria today and it promises to make you a match! Fill out a test card and let the magic of algorithms tell you who should be your Valentine this year.

⬥ Yes, some of these questions don't make any sense and/or come from weird Thorntrail jr wards from forever ago. This is honestly not that different from typical dating site questions, anyway.

⬥ Fill out as many cards as you want. YOU CAN FILL OUT FAKE ENTRIES. Adrian naively believes in the goodness of his peers.

⬥ Not to give the magic away, but this is going to be determined via spreadsheet based on a number of factors including but not limited to Astrology, Numerology, and question answers. This is not RNG, but it is convoluted.

⬥ YOU HAVE UNTIL SUNDAY, FEB 9 11:59PM EST to complete a card. I will try to get results up by Tuesday the 11th to give ample time for grabbing last minute dance dates/agonizing over Valentine's Day.

⬥ Take the form below and paste it to the "ENTRIES" sub-header.

NAME: entrant's first and last name, please
DATE of BIRTH: please include month, day and year, time as well if you know it
CLASS SCHEDULE: (just let me know here if you listed an accurate schedule or an inaccurate one, and if it's inaccurate, tell me what you listed)
TOTAL ANNUAL HOUSEHOLD INCOME: god i can't wait to see the responses to this
MY TYPE IS ENDLESS BREADSTICKS & PASTA: strongly agree, agree, neutral, disagree, strongly disagree
I LIKE A CHALLENGE: strongly agree, agree, neutral, disagree, strongly disagree
I AM PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE: strongly agree, agree, neutral, disagree, strongly disagree
DOGS or CATS: check one

locations! ⬦ ENTRIES: Please insert you test cards into the machine. Thank you!

⬦ REACTIONS: CARDe-B 99% guaranteed not to gain sentience from the information she has garnered.

⬦ OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Armani only has one class on Tuesdays, which is good because he spends a good part of the day in the library obsessively working on his own compatibility charts. He takes up an entire table to himself, surrounded by star charts and Divination books, and remains intensely focused on his task. HE thinks they're compatible but do the STARS AGREE???

NAME: Laszlo Frigyes Pataki <- Very Hungarian

(LIFE: 6 DESTINY: 7 SOUL: 5 PERSONALITY: 2 BIRTHDAY: 1)
DOB: October 19, 2002 (Time~~????~~ 10am BORN IN ~~???~~ Great Dismal Swamp ♥)

☉libra ✔️
☽ aries ✔️
☿ libra ✔️
♀︎ scorpio ✔️
♂︎ libra (romantic water, airy desires. craves intimacy but needs space)

MY TYPE IS ENDLESS BREADSTICKS & PASTA: Agree (Enjoys endless breadsticks and pasta in moderation. Regular overindulgence leads to health risks.) NOTE: May enjoy other Muggle novelty experiences.

I LIKE A CHALLENGE: Situational. Seeks mental stimulation but conflict averse.

I AM PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE: STRONGLY AGREE

DOGS or CATS: Plants

NAME: Armani Byron Addams

(LIFE: 4 DESTINY: 1 SOUL: 1 PERSONALITY: 9 BIRTHDAY: 6)
DOB: February 15, 2003 @ 3:37am (Jefferson, TX)

☉ aquarius ✔️ (yes!!!)
☽ leo ✔️ (compatible but both may have jealousy issues)
☿ aquarius ✔️ (air signs!!!)
♀︎ capricorn ✔️ (together they are intense & sensual like a forest)
♂︎ sagittarius (romantic earth, fiery desires........(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄)

MY TYPE IS ENDLESS BREADSTICKS & PASTA: Strongly agree no matter WHAT face Chanel is making!!

I LIKE A CHALLENGE: Strongly agree. Seeks new experiences and novelty, but also conflict averse.

I AM PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE: Ag N ~~Strongly ag~~ Yes

DOGS or CATS: Rodents

Edited (oop i thought i fixed this w/updated info) 2020-02-12 18:05 (UTC)

THE COMPATOMATIC ALGORITHMIC ROMANCE DETERMINATOR

REACTIONS: Armani consults the stars.