peckenpaugh | STUDENT PROJECT: RAISE A BABY!

Entry tags:

! ic/ooc

STUDENT PROJECT: RAISE A BABY!

raise a baby!!!

what's up? Hope you knew what you were getting into when you signed your name up on that list the other week! All students who signed up, or were signed up for, the Raise A Baby event are called to the infirmary after class today to receive their assignments. A lot of students volunteered (or were voluntold) to participate in this, so the little space is packed full. From the looks of it, Mr. Potkin has been kept here for observation these last few days, but he is up and about! Ready to greet everyone and hand out assignments and dolls. That does mean that Healer Greatheart is nearby, keeping an eye on him and his students.

Which is why she stops him before he can start passing dolls out. "Hold on a second!" she says when she realizes why her infirmary is full of kids today. "This project is useless if you kids don't know how these things are made. And I don't mean at the toy factory."

Congratulations kids, you've just been enrolled in an impromptu sex education course...

pairings list!

Edgar & Chanel
This baby is nocturnal! It refuses to sleep between 11:00 PM and 5:00 AM, and it doesn’t understand why you would want to.

Claudia & Xenia
This baby can only be soothed by being dangled upside down for 30 seconds. It likes being bounced, too. We don't judge here.

Lionel & Gemma
This baby melts if allowed to be upset for more than 10 seconds. It will recongeal eventually, but you should supervise it to make sure its eyes end up in the right place.

Armani & Adrian
This baby can speak! It calls everyone and everything “Mama”... except Armani, and it will freak the fuck out if anyone tries to push it.

Winter & Viola & Felicity
It’s twins! And these babies are constantly fighting each other. If you try to keep them apart, they're happy to fight the nearest baby instead. Especially if the nearest baby is a fucking nerd.

Joshua & Kermit
This baby will knock everything off your desk if you have things on your desk. Why? Who knows. It’s just what this baby does.

Ramona & Laszlo
This baby will only eat mashed potatoes! Good luck getting those taters to a suitably liquid consistency. Don't try to trick it, it knows when you're lying.

Jupiter & Gertrude
This baby is very active on social media. It may even be addicted. It will do anything it can to get its hands on a cell phone. You need to limit its screen time because it's a baby. It will not like that.

Mary Grace & Tybalt
This baby really wants to eat whatever is in the garbage. Do not let it. In fact, maybe move the garbage bin to another room.

Skip & Gideon
This baby is always chewing on something, even when it is not physically possible for it to have found something to chew on. How about a muzzle.

Maisy & Winifred
This baby occasionally resists gravity and floats like a balloon. Baby leash advised. Don't just tie a string around its head please.

Willow & Presley
This baby doesn't cry! But when it's upset its eyes glow red and its babbles sound twisted and warped and angry and… is it laughing? Oh, that’s not upsetting at all.

Atlas & Harrison
This baby has style! It insists on designer duds and regular mani-pedis, and do not use those tacky disposable diapers, thanks.

Fiona & Aristotle
This baby’s cries have been replaced with an airhorn sound that, somehow, always sounds like its being blasted right in your ear. Sleep well!

Desmond & Wyatt
This baby comes with a medic alert bracelet saying it is allergic to water! It will cry every time it gets wet, which is probably not a problem in, uh, spring. Maybe invest in a really good rain poncho?

Cicero & Anthony
This baby abruptly grows to 4ft in length when brought within close proximity of the color green. Any shade.

how this works! ⬥ This Home Mag-Ec assignment begins today, February 23rd, and goes until mid-March. Students participating who are not in Home Mag-Ec are receiving extra credit for another class of their choice. Home Mag-Ec students may feel it more pressing to do well on this group project because it is actually part of their grade.

⬥ Each student is presented with a doll roughly the size of a six month old baby. These dolls are not sentient. They are less complex than a living portrait. But! They are charmed to do a variety of baby tasks including: crying for food, crying for bed, crying for attention, crying because they don't want to sleep, crying because they are overstimulated, crying because they were startled by a loud noise, crying just because, babbling, pooping, crawling, vomiting, creating the illusion of unconditional love, and so much more.

⬥ Students are given a variety of accessories including: fake plastic bottle which must be used to feed the baby if a hunger cry is triggerer, portable bassinet & swaddling blankets, set of nappies, and one (1) baby toy which can be used to soothe a baby that is upset for no reason.

⬥ The baby dolls are all tracked. Things like location, length of time spent in a "crying" state and length of time spent in a "sleeping" state are all recorded.

⬥ These dolls look mmmmaybe a little worse for wear. Like, they're the same dolls kids have been using since these students' parents were in school. That said, if a student irreparably damages a doll, they will be forced to reimburse the school for it either out of pocket or through student work. Those babies ain't cheap.

⬥ Other students may "babysit" the doll by utilizing the corresponding accessories to feed and play with it. However, the doll will know if one of its parents hasn't checked in on it for 24 hours, and it will lose its shit until a parent comes to tend to it.

⬥ Before you can leave, you have to sit in on Healer Greatheart's sex ed lesson. Sorry guys.

locations! ⬦ IMPROMPTU SEX ED LECTURE: Healer Greatheart's sex education lesson is ... exhaustive. She spares no one the details, wheeling out charts and diagrams and speaking extensively on anatomy, physiology, sexuality and gender. Greatheart is curmudgeonly about snickering, tolerating it only barely. The militaresque cheer of "WATER! 👏 BASED! 👏 LUBRICANT! 👏" is sure to be stuck in students heads for the foreseeable future. By the end of the 45 minute lecture and 15 minute Q&A session, Mr. Potkin looks like he wishes those senior Thorntrails had killed him.

⬦ HOW'S IT GOING?: Well, you survived a surprisingly thorough spur of the moment sex ed lecture! How're you feeling? Is the happy family bonding?

⬦ OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Armani is physically present but his spirit has left his body as a defense mechanism, leaving a lifeless husk behind. WATER!👏 BASED! 👏 LUBRICANT! 👏 is so not romantic. Please just give him his child.

Felicity tears open a pack of flavored lube with her teeth. "Does this really taste like strawberry?" she whispers to the unfortunate few nearby. Because like, if so, she'll carry these things around like ketchup packs to spruce up a bland snack or serve as a chaser for a shot.

Aris has spent this lecture oscillating between curiosity and embarrassment and awkward amusement, so this very important question and Felicity's brazen approach are a welcome distraction. He laughs quietly and leans close to peer down at the pack with her. What will this stuff even...look like??

"I dunno," he nudges her encouragingly, "Only one way to find out, right?"

"Damn, you're so right," Felicity nods. And without any further encouragement, she squeezes a bit into her mouth, swallows, and considers. It's not unlike watching someone do a wine tasting. "Ooo," she arches her eyebrows and snaps her fingers, a verdict having been reached. "It tastes like lip gloss!" She offers the remainder to Aris. She's not one to bogart the lube.

oh my god

i'm crying at all of these prompts

I honestly wish I had a floating baby

I feel very strongly that, even if advised otherwise, that baby is getting a string around its neck.

very excited for throuple with helltwins

there's no rule that you can't put the babies in straitjackets is there

They have to sit all five in a row, teenagers on the edges and in between the babies, to act as buffers from each other and the world

Oh these pairings
Oh these BABIES.

Mary Grace and Tybalt were meant to raise a trash baby together

Garbage is in the fake genes

Uriah is so excited to be an uncle to a trash eating baby. He's going to sneak it trash like he's secretly feeding a dog table scraps.

my uncle who kisses my dad is exactly the right family for this child

But URIAH. Organic garbage Only!

I have a very strong feeling these children are going to be cosplaying as the worst version of their parents

Film it for public shaming at ptc

do we think our baby drinks blood

Again
In the genes
Of course it does the little darling

how early is too early for baby to slay in black eyeliner

Literally never

Cicero's going to get crushed by his child.

And I have faith that Ramona and Laszlo are going to give this baby some sort of complex going into next year.

Take care of your half-giant baby Cicero no one else will understand it like you do :(

Green Is Outlawed

The entirety of Deeplurk needs to be thrown out

Tony is gonna dress him in green every day

Tony no!!! This child is almost as big as Cicero now!!!

jolly green giant baby

skip immediately pulls out a dog chew toy, gently used, from his backpack and gives it to the baby

how long has Skip been carrying around a gently used dog chew toy

only like two-three weeks! before that it was a brand new dog chew toy

Hey I'm almost alive!! Hello!! Patrice hates all of his roommates babies!!! At least Des and Wyatt only have one between the two of them.

Lyss I hope Atlas is ready to parent with the most annoyed but actually pretty well-equipped to parent co-dad!!!! He barely knows who Atlas is.

Edited (fashion baby) 2020-02-25 02:43 (UTC)

does harrison want to be maisy jr's godfather

I mean, I want him to be

(he would probably agree to be because he's the TA but then would deny being the godfather always and forever)

All the babies share a Big Crib

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

STUDENT PROJECT: RAISE A BABY!

IMPROMPTU SEX ED LECTURE

Re: IMPROMPTU SEX ED LECTURE

Felicity Asks the Important Question (OPEN++)

Felicity Asks the Important Question and Aris Encourages Her

Felicity Asks the Important Question and Aris Encourages Her

HOW'S IT GOING?

OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!