peckenpaugh | (no subject)

We were actually wondering if maybe he's trying to induct me into some sort of crime syndicate.

Do you WANT to be in a crime syndicate?

Mostly because I feel like I could bring it down from the inside?

Undercover work has a lot of risks. Like, there's maintenance of identity and stress and eventual reintegration back into normal society.

Ah, see? I'll be fine. I was never integrated into normal society to begin with.

Never been entirely certain what constitutes normal society. There's too many variables.

But this could also be the opportunity to find out! So. Hey. To reintegration. Or whatever.

I have been told that it is not normal to live on a sliver of land surrounded by MACUSA research facility. But that person could well have been mistaken.

Being a crime fighting hero has an appeal, even with the difficulties.

It's normal for you. So they ARE kind of wrong. In that sense.

I mean, other potential risks include capture, death, and torture. So as long as you're avoiding those, I think you're doing okay.

Reality is subjective?

Honestly, there have been weirder deaths in the Quackenbush family than, "cover blown, tortured to death." I feel like I can do better.

I guess? Or. Normalcy is subjective.

Wouldn't that depend on how creatively they torture you?

Also fair.

It'd have to be pretty creative. Most of the tricks of the trade have been used at this point. Maybe they'll innovate a new form of torture just for me. That might be acceptable.

It's just the prolonged and absolutely mediocre torture of never being able to break the con and having to go through the rest of your life serving a boring crime syndicate that deals in acceptable, but not exciting desserts.

Because, yeah. The good ones have definitely been used.

Thought it over and have decided that that would not be an acceptable way to die.

Avoid if at all possible.

Mediocrity is the truest torture.

Get dragged off into a suspicious, unmarked van or bust.

Is that your preference?

Depends. Mostly on how fast they’re going to kill me. I’m not sure how well I’d hold up under ACTUAL torture.

It seems like you could last at least a while. I suppose if you want to avoid it, though, the best course of action is to limit the amount of useful information you have at any time.

Not necessarily. Like the Toy-Box Killer? He was just into dragging women into his van and doing horrible things to them. No sensitive information needed.

Toy-Box [...] Killer? [...] Serial killers seem a little hard to account for. Might need a different algorithm for them.

Yeah, probably not a Top Ten List guy. But. Had a torture van. It’s just that it’s probably hard to tell what kind of van’s picking you up at first glance.

A surprising number of bad things seem to happen in vans.

I've never been in one. The Quackencurse doesn't interact well with muggle vehicles, but it sounds like vans, in particular, should be avoided.

You have a surprising serial killer knowledge base.

They’re nothing to write home about. And they’re usually ugly. AND they don’t tend to make it onto NEARLY as many vehicle safety lists as the “family friendly” marketing implies.

I mean, he’s not TOTALLY obscure? But. Yes. Not just centered on vans.

Words that could also describe my last Magirobotics project.

Your van knowledge base also seems quite impressive, though. To be fair.

Doubt that. You’re smart. And not interested in vans.

My uncle got a new car this summer. He had a whole PowerPoint about why SUVs are a better choice for people with young children.

(no subject)

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