Name: Hawthorne Quackenbush Robot: Pokey Music Selection: He's got some Reel Big Fish going for his skanking Hokey Pokey Ska Bot. How’d They Dance?: Pokey actually manages a pretty convincing hokey pokey, but eventually the bot starts kicking a little too much. It works for a second, since it matches the musical selection, but he proves a little hard to stop and kicks Hawthorne's shin pretty hard before he stops. Anything else?: Nope!
Freshmen judges Darby, Duncan, Delia and Dru scrutinize Pokey's moves, and the Thorntrail representative can be seen shaking his head furiously throughout the whole ordeal.
Darby gives Pokey a 1. Darby fucking hates ska. Duncan calls Pokey "resplendent, transcendent, and iridescent in this role" and gives him an 8. Delia was barely watching but thinks 6 sounds fair. Dru has lost most of her cards and holds up a 4.
Name: Eddy Waxweiler Robot: Mickey ...... II Music Selection: Oh, music. My forever nemesis. A quick and anxious Google search landed me on this which feels appropriate for the day! How’d They Dance?: A very ambitious attempt at breakdancing was made, considering we'd only made it to head bobbing a couple weeks ago. There's also an arabesque here and a pirouette there, because Eddy's 100% trusting in Chanel's knowledge of All Things Dance. So. Maybe the genres mix somehow. The mousebot seems to spin well. Like, really really well. Maybe a little too well. Yikes. Anything else?: Oh. Well. This exists.
Mickey II causes quite a stir with judges Darby, Duncan, Delia and Dru, and it's hard to tell if that's a good thing at first. Is freshmen attention ever a good thing?
Darby thanks Eddy for his appropriate music selection, and gives Mickey II a whopping 10. Suck it, Ska Boy. Duncan calls Mickey II an inspiration, and fawns over his "commitment to trying new things." He also gives Mickey II a 10. Delia is still chanting for Mickey II to keep spinning, but deducts a point for lack of head bobbing. She's here for the head bobbing. Still, she gives him a 9. Dru still can't find her cards, but she draws a smiley face next to the 4.
Name: Cedar Quackenbush Robot: Eucalyptus Music Selection: They choreographed a great line dance to Achey Breaky Heart. How’d They Dance?: Eukie doesn't dance. The song depresses Eukie, who curls all six of her legs under her and rocks back and forth while country music plays in the background. Anything else?: this game is actually about the robot uprising
The freshmen judges get in a slap fight in the middle of Eukie's breakdown, and it's probably not because the robot failed to hold their attention.
Darby is still pouting over losing a clump of his hair and he just picks the 6 card at random. Whatever. Duncan lets out a pointed yawn and can't believe you're wasting his time with this. He's being generous by giving you a 3. Delia just screams and throws a 1 at Cedar and Eukie. Dru found another card!! It's a 7!!
Name: Ramona Robot: This dog-like robot is named after ancient Grecian witch, hex pioneer & noted lesbian Nikephorus Music Selection:It's Green Day How’d They Dance?: Ramona never got this thing properly dancing, so it mostly just wiggles its robot butt. Every now and then it throws in one of these and it approximately matches the rhythm of the music. What more did you want from her? Anything else?:
The four freshmen have never heard this song before. Did it come out before they were born? Old people.
Darby is, like, mildly impressed with those little leg stretches, so he guesses he'll score it a 6 if he can pet it. Duncan is deLIGHTed and claps every time Nikephorus makes even the slightest wiggle. Oh, 9 points baby, way to go. Delia doesn't get it, but if she scores it too low Duncan will just say it went over her head. How about a 5? Dru still has this 7!! Did you see it??
Name: Willow Quackenbush Robot: Sharkira Music Selection:Hips Don't Lie How’d They Dance?: Hips don't lie, but they DO shake until they start to smoke and eventually give up with a sprung-spring sound Anything else?:
The freshmen judges don't know this song either. Is there supposed to be a PUN here?? Why are you all so OLD??
Darby is THRILLED by what he calls the "bravest piece of performance art this stage has EVER seen!!" and rewards her with a 10. Duncan is much less enthusiastic about the whole ordeal. He's never been into slapstick. Still, it's worth maybe a 6. Delia tried to dance along with the song, but Delia can't dance. Still, she gives Willow and Sharkira a well-deserved 8. Dru rips her 4 card in half. We're calling this a 2.
Name: Honey Robot: His name is Twelve and he is a boy Music Selection: EDM How’d They Dance?: Twelve is predominantly spherical and so most of his "dancing" is just zooming around and spinning in time to the music. It does this very well, but whether or not it counts as dancing is up for significant debate. Honey seems to think it suffices just fine. Anything else?: unrelated but my mom is threatening to sue me for grandparents' rights and custody of my cat bc she doesn't like that he has an "undignified" name
The freshmen contingent's blood sugar is getting low and their attention is waning, but at least someone finally picked music they KNOW. Honey is the COOLEST upperclassmen in SCHOOL.
Darby lets out a long, wet raspberry sound before holding up a 4. Duncan holds up a 9. After a second, he reconsiders and turns it upside down. 6 is more like it. Delia is really excited because this is exactly how she dances!! 10 points!!!! Dru holds up both halves of her 4. They're backwards but we're counting it.
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peckenpaugh2019-11-20 12:02 pm
DANCE-OFF
DANCE-OFF: Hawthorne & Pokey
Robot: Pokey
Music Selection: He's got some Reel Big Fish going for his skanking Hokey Pokey Ska Bot.
How’d They Dance?: Pokey actually manages a pretty convincing hokey pokey, but eventually the bot starts kicking a little too much. It works for a second, since it matches the musical selection, but he proves a little hard to stop and kicks Hawthorne's shin pretty hard before he stops.
Anything else?: Nope!
DANCE-OFF SCORE: Hawthorne & Pokey
Darby gives Pokey a 1. Darby fucking hates ska.
Duncan calls Pokey "resplendent, transcendent, and iridescent in this role" and gives him an 8.
Delia was barely watching but thinks 6 sounds fair.
Dru has lost most of her cards and holds up a 4.
DANCE-OFF: Eddy & Mickey II
Robot: Mickey ...... II
Music Selection: Oh, music. My forever nemesis. A quick and anxious Google search landed me on this which feels appropriate for the day!
How’d They Dance?: A very ambitious attempt at breakdancing was made, considering we'd only made it to head bobbing a couple weeks ago. There's also an arabesque here and a pirouette there, because Eddy's 100% trusting in Chanel's knowledge of All Things Dance. So. Maybe the genres mix somehow. The mousebot seems to spin well. Like, really really well. Maybe a little too well. Yikes.
Anything else?: Oh. Well. This exists.
DANCE-OFF SCORE: Eddy & Mickey II
Darby thanks Eddy for his appropriate music selection, and gives Mickey II a whopping 10. Suck it, Ska Boy.
Duncan calls Mickey II an inspiration, and fawns over his "commitment to trying new things." He also gives Mickey II a 10.
Delia is still chanting for Mickey II to keep spinning, but deducts a point for lack of head bobbing. She's here for the head bobbing. Still, she gives him a 9.
Dru still can't find her cards, but she draws a smiley face next to the 4.
DANCE-OFF: Cedar & Eucalyptus
Robot: Eucalyptus
Music Selection: They choreographed a great line dance to Achey Breaky Heart.
How’d They Dance?: Eukie doesn't dance. The song depresses Eukie, who curls all six of her legs under her and rocks back and forth while country music plays in the background.
Anything else?: this game is actually about the robot uprising
DANCE-OFF SCORE: Cedar & Eucalyptus
Darby is still pouting over losing a clump of his hair and he just picks the 6 card at random. Whatever.
Duncan lets out a pointed yawn and can't believe you're wasting his time with this. He's being generous by giving you a 3.
Delia just screams and throws a 1 at Cedar and Eukie.
Dru found another card!! It's a 7!!
DANCE-OFF: Ramona & Nikephorus
Robot: This dog-like robot is named after ancient Grecian witch, hex pioneer & noted lesbian Nikephorus
Music Selection: It's Green Day
How’d They Dance?: Ramona never got this thing properly dancing, so it mostly just wiggles its robot butt. Every now and then it throws in one of these and it approximately matches the rhythm of the music. What more did you want from her?
Anything else?:
DANCE-OFF SCORE: Ramona & Nikephorus
Darby is, like, mildly impressed with those little leg stretches, so he guesses he'll score it a 6 if he can pet it.
Duncan is deLIGHTed and claps every time Nikephorus makes even the slightest wiggle. Oh, 9 points baby, way to go.
Delia doesn't get it, but if she scores it too low Duncan will just say it went over her head. How about a 5?
Dru still has this 7!! Did you see it??
DANCE-OFF: Willow and Sharkira
Robot: Sharkira
Music Selection: Hips Don't Lie
How’d They Dance?: Hips don't lie, but they DO shake until they start to smoke and eventually give up with a sprung-spring sound
Anything else?:
DANCE-OFF SCORE: Willow and Sharkira
Darby is THRILLED by what he calls the "bravest piece of performance art this stage has EVER seen!!" and rewards her with a 10.
Duncan is much less enthusiastic about the whole ordeal. He's never been into slapstick. Still, it's worth maybe a 6.
Delia tried to dance along with the song, but Delia can't dance. Still, she gives Willow and Sharkira a well-deserved 8.
Dru rips her 4 card in half. We're calling this a 2.
DANCE-OFF
Robot: His name is Twelve and he is a boy
Music Selection: EDM
How’d They Dance?: Twelve is predominantly spherical and so most of his "dancing" is just zooming around and spinning in time to the music. It does this very well, but whether or not it counts as dancing is up for significant debate. Honey seems to think it suffices just fine.
Anything else?: unrelated but my mom is threatening to sue me for grandparents' rights and custody of my cat bc she doesn't like that he has an "undignified" name
DANCE-OFF SCORE: Honey & Twelve
Darby lets out a long, wet raspberry sound before holding up a 4.
Duncan holds up a 9. After a second, he reconsiders and turns it upside down. 6 is more like it.
Delia is really excited because this is exactly how she dances!! 10 points!!!!
Dru holds up both halves of her 4. They're backwards but we're counting it.