Somewhere behind him there is the distinct sound of thumping. It is not, clearly, the sound of a body hitting the hardwood - as it is more than one thump and each one of the more than one thumps do not add up to the body weight of an average 15-year-old. Not even if you add them together. Gideon still startles like it is.
(Not his finest moment, no. But no one can see him, so it's also perfectly fine.)
"False imprisonment," he answers - coughing, once, to get the squeak out of his voice. "At the very least." Then he takes a few steps forward and resists the urge to pick all of the books up off of the floor. For now. For maybe the next thirty seconds.
Edited (sorry this took 8 years, i am dying) 2019-11-09 21:17 (UTC)
"I don't want a long, drawn out legal battle," Hawthorne gripes as though this is something he has endured before and despairs at the very prospect of it. It is not. Hawthorne has never met a lawyer. He does have an aunt who died in a long, drawn out legal battle. It wasn't the legal battle that killed her. A fire hydrant exploded on her way out of the courthouse. That killed her when it hit her.
Anyway...
"I'm willing to forgive and forget," he goes on, poking his head into the shelf to see if he can spot who he's talking to. "If I can just get out of here?"
Edited (HELLO APOLOGIES this reply to forever my brain is very bad today) 2019-11-10 04:17 (UTC)
So a full minute before he's on his knees and stacking the books into a neat pile. He'll pick them up later. But having them all in one place and ready to be picked up later is good enough for now. "Yeah, those can definitely get messy. But at least it's not also an extradition issue." People get super weird about extradition.
Then he hefts himself back to his feet, brushing off his knees and stepping into place in front of the newly opened book gap.
"Hi," he says. Again. Less questioning, but still probably too questioning for the situation. "So this is going well so far, I think."
Hawthorne blinks, looking relieved by the bookshelf vignette he gets of his classmate. Oh, it's Gideon. And not a library spirit. Excellent. "Hello," he replies, because that's polite. "I feel bad about the mess."
He says that, and yet, he pushes a few more books off the shelf. After the fact, he decides to add, "Sorry. Watch out." Which is very helpful. "I think the shelves only move if they want to, and I'm not sure what they want from me."
The books hit the ground and Gideon looks a little like he's having a heart attack. Or maybe he looks a little like somebody's mom is going to walk in on them and have a heart attack. "I could've -" he starts. Then stops. Then pulls a hand up to his mouth and very narrowly avoids sinking his teeth into his knuckle. "Okay. That's -" His fingers twitch. "Okay."
He doesn't, it might be noted, watch out. At all.
He does, however, tip his head at Hawthorne and the amount of space left between rows of books. "So are you planning on shimmying through a shelf?" If the expression on his face looks skeptical, it's because it is. "Because it's going to be real unfortunate if the shelf decides to go on a trip in the middle of that and it bisects you."
Hawthorne's eyes follow all of Gideon's movements, head bobbling up and down, affirming every partial-to-full sentence he gets out. "Yes I—" At that last bit he cringes, then wrinkles his nose and backs away from the shelf. Like it might bite him. "Oh."
This does seem like the exact sort of set up for an entry in Quackenbush Best Demises. A later entry. Less impressive than most, more memorable for the gore than anything. He snorts, crossing and uncrossing his arms, unwilling to let the library see his frustration.
"I guess I live here now." Hawthorne decides, resigned. "D'you want to take my last will and testament for me?"
"Television loves it when elevators do that to people." Gideon winces sympathetically, gaze momentarily far away in vivid memory of people that've been halved before. Well. Fictional people. People in reenactments at best. But, still. Distinctly unpleasant. There's a lot of crushing. No one seems to enjoy it. Not a good way to go.
"Don't you need a lawyer for that?" He blinks, reconsiders. "Or at least a witness. I could definitely lie." He probably wouldn't. But there's still that chance of human error. "Besides, I feel like I could reasonably keep you fed. There's room for that."
"Oh, Willow is my lawyer..." The first bit of Hawthorne's reply is mumbled into the palm of his hand as he rubs his chin. It's reflective, perhaps just talking to himself. He perks up when Gideon mentions food. "Oh, that might work." A pause, then a frown. "But food isn't allowed in the library. So you might get in trouble."
It takes a considerable amount of effort not to ask where Willow picked up her degree. It's not that he doesn't want to say it - it's just that it was a pretty self-directed comment and it's probably rude to call someone out on their sister's learning credentials when they're already in the middle of a borderline hostage situation.
"I feel like they'd need to make accommodations," Gideon shrugs, as though he's already run the analysis on the situation. The cost benefits of eating in the library versus starving to death. Also in the library. "If you're going to be a permanent resident."
"I don't want to be an inconvenience," Hawthorne replies with some trepidation. He doesn't much like the prospect of being taken care of forever, a prisoner of the library, and he furrows his brow, scowling thoughtfully as he tries to come up with an alternate plan.
It doesn't take long. The Bad Luck Curse tends to inspire him, as luck to provide him a solution as to foil him. "What if we knocked all the shelves over, domino-style. Everyone would be so overwhelmed, the chances they'd be impressed rather than angry are very high."
He did absolutely zero math to come to this conclusion. It's just a feeling.
Hawthorne is stuck, Gideon is Confused
(Not his finest moment, no. But no one can see him, so it's also perfectly fine.)
"False imprisonment," he answers - coughing, once, to get the squeak out of his voice. "At the very least." Then he takes a few steps forward and resists the urge to pick all of the books up off of the floor. For now. For maybe the next thirty seconds.
Hawthorne is stuck, Gideon is Confused
Anyway...
"I'm willing to forgive and forget," he goes on, poking his head into the shelf to see if he can spot who he's talking to. "If I can just get out of here?"
Hawthorne is stuck, Gideon is Confused
So a full minute before he's on his knees and stacking the books into a neat pile. He'll pick them up later. But having them all in one place and ready to be picked up later is good enough for now. "Yeah, those can definitely get messy. But at least it's not also an extradition issue." People get super weird about extradition.
Then he hefts himself back to his feet, brushing off his knees and stepping into place in front of the newly opened book gap.
"Hi," he says. Again. Less questioning, but still probably too questioning for the situation. "So this is going well so far, I think."
Hawthorne is stuck, Gideon is Confused
He says that, and yet, he pushes a few more books off the shelf. After the fact, he decides to add, "Sorry. Watch out." Which is very helpful. "I think the shelves only move if they want to, and I'm not sure what they want from me."
Hawthorne is stuck, Gideon is Confused
He doesn't, it might be noted, watch out. At all.
He does, however, tip his head at Hawthorne and the amount of space left between rows of books. "So are you planning on shimmying through a shelf?" If the expression on his face looks skeptical, it's because it is. "Because it's going to be real unfortunate if the shelf decides to go on a trip in the middle of that and it bisects you."
Hawthorne is stuck, Gideon is Confused
This does seem like the exact sort of set up for an entry in Quackenbush Best Demises. A later entry. Less impressive than most, more memorable for the gore than anything. He snorts, crossing and uncrossing his arms, unwilling to let the library see his frustration.
"I guess I live here now." Hawthorne decides, resigned. "D'you want to take my last will and testament for me?"
Hawthorne is stuck, Gideon is Confused
"Don't you need a lawyer for that?" He blinks, reconsiders. "Or at least a witness. I could definitely lie." He probably wouldn't. But there's still that chance of human error. "Besides, I feel like I could reasonably keep you fed. There's room for that."
Hawthorne is stuck, Gideon is Confused
He does not notice any gaps in his logic.
Hawthorne is stuck, Gideon is Confused
"I feel like they'd need to make accommodations," Gideon shrugs, as though he's already run the analysis on the situation. The cost benefits of eating in the library versus starving to death. Also in the library. "If you're going to be a permanent resident."
Hawthorne is stuck, Gideon is Confused
It doesn't take long. The Bad Luck Curse tends to inspire him, as luck to provide him a solution as to foil him. "What if we knocked all the shelves over, domino-style. Everyone would be so overwhelmed, the chances they'd be impressed rather than angry are very high."
He did absolutely zero math to come to this conclusion. It's just a feeling.