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PECKENPAUGH
Ida Clapsaddle
Valkyrie Horvat
Claudia Vega
Felicity Deverill
Mia Samaniego
Tybalt Zettler
Yara Duke
Adrian Gildersleeves
Anthony De Witt
Skip Rider
Wyatt Webberley
JUNIOR VARSITY
Edgar Waxweiler
Willow Quackenbush
Cedar Quackenbush
Constanza Wolff
PP JV Sp 1
PP JV Sp 2
PP JV Sp 3
Aristotle Ahn
Scarlett Hatfield
Hawthorne Quackenbush
PP JV Kes Cap
FALCON
FALCON
SPARROW
SPARROW
SPARROW
SPARROW
SPARROW
KESTREL
KESTREL
KESTREL
KESTREL
TWIN PEAKS
Solstice Worldpeace
Avalon Kuyper
Taylor Tanaka
Jesus Andrade
Hercules Hornblower
Gaby Yang
Mackey Maloney
Mickey Mahoney
Galileo Drexel
Margot Quick
Delaney Medjid
JUNIOR VARSITY
Georgia Dick
Ruben Ramos
Sky Sayyid
Raven Primpernelle
August Crutchley
Leighton Bixby
Sage Suarez
Rainbow Rose-Ripper
Kingston Kobayashi
Carla Goncalves
Braydyn Bong
junior varsity
The sun is shining, it's cold as hell, and the days are over before you can even say "y'a'll'd've". You know what that means: it's Quodpot season ! The stands are filling up early today, even for the JV game, with fans decked out in Peckenpaugh purple and gold (or Twin Peaks orange and black, if they're bold). Everyone's curious to get their first glimpse at this year's squads, and there's totally no pressure to set the tone for the entire season here, guys. Down by the entrance, Student Council and volunteers are selling concessions, for those who just want to warm their hands up with some hot chocolate or take advantage of their unlimited condiments rule, and it turns out they're a little understaffed. Mr. Potkin and Zippy Zebrowski both end up staffing the stand at some point, and both forget to charge half of their customers. On the sidelines, the cheerleaders warm up the crowds and get ready to explode the first quod and reveal the mystery substance. Peckenpaugh's intimidating force makes prolonged eye contact with the other squad, and Twin Peaks' cheer captain flips her hair to show off the long piece of glitter-covered toilet paper tied in there like a bow. The cheer quod goes up, the squads play a quick, chaotic game of hot potato, and it explodes in a cloud of feathers over the Peckenpaugh cheerleaders' heads. Welp, guess it's game on.Peckenpaugh was right not to get too cocky before this game, because Twin Peaks comes in with a mean offense. Peckenpaugh can barely lay hands on the quod at first, but their kestrels swing into action, tripping them up before they can hit the pot, and the first three rounds end up taking out Ramos , Goncalves and Kobayashi in a cloud of feathers. Suarez and Bixby pot the next two quods, and Hatfield refuses to take another round of this. She yanks the quod from Dick ’s hands just seconds before it blows up in her own face, making Hatfield the first Peckenpaugh player to hit the bench. Wolff and the other Peckenpaugh sparrows are quick to avenge her with three quick goals in a row. Peckenpaugh’s defensive lineup takes a beating next, as H. Quackenbush and Ahn take feathers to the face. C. Quackenbush makes a spectacular dunk in the aftermath, though it’s possible they were just trying to keep from falling off their broom, and Sayyid brings the game to a tie with an easy two-pointer. A swath of eliminations follow: C. Quackenbush and Twin Peaks’ Bong , another Peckenpaugh kestrel, sparrow, and, on the heels of a hot shot by Primpernelle , one more Peckenpaugh sparrow, Suarez and Sayyid all fall. Rose-Ripper nets another goal for Twin Peaks, but Peckenpaugh retaliates: Waxweiler sinks a three-pointer, and a quod bounced off W. Quackenbush ’s face also counts for three. Crutchley , W. Quackenbush , Dick , and one more home team sparrow go down in the subsequent rounds. Primpernelle lobs a three-pointer into the pot, but her time is coming to an end, and she’s out on the next round. The field has thinned considerably, and the time is creeping up on two hours when Bixby ’s shot brings the score to 12 - 13, Twin Peaks. Wolff tries to bring the offense back to Peckenpaugh’s side but gets knocked out instead, followed by Bixby , leaving just Waxweiler and Rose-Ripper on the field. Waxweiler gets his hands on the quod as soon as the round starts and zips up the pitch toward the pot. Peckenpaugh can’t afford to wait out the clock, and Rose-Ripper knows this. She dogs Waxweiler the whole way, zipping in front of him and slowing him down. He feints left to get around her, then right, and then he goes for a shot. Rose-Ripper dives for the quod, catching it before it can reach the pot… and feathers explode in her face. Rose-Ripper is eliminated, and Waxweiler is the last man standing.
🎉 PECKENPAUGH JV WINS 🎉
17 - 13!
varsity game
The stands are even fuller now. The marching band performs, and they go a little long, so hopefully no one's nervous about this or anything. The cheer teams perform, and neither of them came just to support the players; their routines are complex, exciting, and take time, which just gives everyone that much more time to get excited, and raise those expectations a little higher. But no big deal. Finally, the players get in position for initial Face-Offs, with Peckenpaugh's Deverill and Twin Peaks' Maloney heading to the Face-Off Zone. The whole stadium is tensed. Players grip their brooms, cheerleaders hold their breaths (and their pom-poms), and Mr. Youngblood stretches and lets out an agonizingly long yawn before the first quod of the (Varsity) season is unleashed.00:00:00 - 00:04:00 : And they're OFF. Just like their JV counterparts, Twin Peaks' offense starts off fierce. Maloney takes immediate possession of the quod, snatching it out from under Deverill 's nose, and zips off toward the floating pot. Peckenpaugh's kestrels are tough, but Twin Peaks' Varsity sparrows are a tight bunch; they juggle the quod up the pitch — Maloney to Andrade , Andrade to Tanaka , Tanaka back to Maloney — until Andrade sinks the very first goal of the game.00:04:01 - 00:10:00 : With momentum on their side, Twin Peaks strikes again. Peckenpaugh barely gets a chance to lay hands on the ball before those sparrows swoop in and spirit it up the pitch, and this time it's Maloney who drops the quod in the pot.00:10:01 - 00:16:00 : The third quod of the game is introduced, and Peckenpaugh goes on the attack. If they can't get the quod, they can at least get the quod to do the work for them. The Critters' kestrels dog Twin Peaks' offense, forcing them to bob and weave through the pitch. Gildersleeves narrowly avoids a foul when he blows right through Yang and sends her spinning, and De Witt 's bulk makes it easy to split quod-holder Maloney off on his own. Ah, but Maloney is no one-trick pony; he chucks the ticking quod toward the pot, and lands a slick three-pointer.00:16:01 - 00:20:00 : Another quod, another possession for Twin Peaks. Gildersleeves puts his defensive lineup to task—Rider and Webberley run interference on their fliers, Gildersleeves and De Witt try to retake the quod. While they're not able to get the quod, they do finally accomplish one thing: Andrade can't get help in time, and he gets a face full of feathers.00:20:01 - 00:23:00 : Maloney clearly never liked Andrade all that much, because he's not broken up about his loss at all. He lobs another three-pointer into the pot—his third goal of the game, and we're still in the first half hour. The score is 0 - 8 Twin Peaks, and Maloney dabs.00:23:01 - 00:29:00 : That was the final straw. Maloney tries to get his hands on the quod again, but Zettler appears out of nowhere, diving straight in front of his outstretched hands and knocking them out of the way. Whether he was trying to get the quod himself or take Maloney out isn't clear and doesn't matter, because Webberley is ready for it. He snags the quod before it can drop any further and zips up the pitch. Twin Peaks' Worldpeace tries to stop him, Kuyper quick on his tail, but Webberley passes the quod to a waiting Deverill before they can do anything. She handily dunks, looks directly at Maloney , and dabs.00:29:01 - 00:36:00 : Peckenpaugh is finally on the board at 1 - 8. Vega , riding on the coattails of that sick dab, makes an easy layup for two more points. Twin Peaks tries to take control back with the next round, and Peckenpaugh's defense comes out swinging—literally, just about, as Webberley 's elbow catches Twin Peaks' Quick in the throat. She drops the quod to Tanaka , who almost gets to the Scoring Zone before she, too, gets the ax.00:36:01 - 00:38:00 : With two sparrows down, Twin Peaks shifts into more aggressive gameplay. Samaniego gets her hands on the quod, and the sophomore finds her way blocked over and over by Twin Peaks' Mahoney . De Witt comes to her rescue, barreling through the flyers and boxing out Mahoney so she can get past, but Drexel and Medjid are quick to react. Drexel attempts to disrupt Samaniego , Medjid puts her broom squarely in De Witt 's path, and it's a downright clusterfuck in the air when Medjid slams right into De Witt , who spins into Drexel , who knocks Samaniego clear off her broom. Mr. Youngblood slows Samaniego 's descent before calling a foul on Medjid , and giving Samaniego a penalty shot. The sophomore seems a little dazed by her collision, though, and misses the shot by a mile. Horvat decides to send Samaniego to the bench to be checked out, and brings in JV's Scarlett Hatfield to keep the game going.00:38:01 - 00:40:00 : Horvat doesn't let anyone else touch the next quod that comes out. Fueled by vengeance and frustration, she takes the quod directly to the pot herself, and brings the score up to 4 - 8 Twin Peaks.00:40:01 - 00:44:00 : The feisty Hatfield , determined to show she's better than her performance in the JV game, doesn't get much of a chance. She snags the quod and is immediately swarmed by the opposing team, hoping the young player will be an easy target. Hatfield tries to pass the quod to a waiting Zettler , and it's intercepted by Yang —who pays the price when the quod explodes in her hands.00:44:01 - 00:47:00 : Hatfield tries again in the next round, but the opposing team barely has a chance to harass her. The quod explodes in under a minute, and Hatfield , once again, takes the bench. She's followed soon after by fellow sparrow Vega , another victim of a remarkably short-fused quod.00:47:01 - 00:51:00 : Ah, no time to cry over spilt feathers. Twin Peaks gets their hands on the next quod first, but with their sparrow squad dwindling, Rider easily squeezes between their flyers to intercept. It's a short pass to Zettler , to Horvat , back to Zettler , weaving through the field with ease. Worldpeace and Drexel are on his tail, Kuyper and Mahoney trail Horvat , Medjid keeps a close eye on Rider —too bad they weren't watching who was flying above Zettler . He tosses the quod straight up, Duke swoops in to catch it, and she nets a three-pointer for Peckenpaugh.00:51:01 - 00:56:00 : We're coming up on the one-hour mark and only five players have been eliminated, but Twin Peaks is trying to take care of that. De Witt gets his hands on the ball early on, and the opposing team goes into disruption mode. Drexel and Quick fearlessly throw themselves in the path of the freight train, and when Deverill darts in to help, Kuyper bowls her right over, forcing her to sloth roll out of the way. De Witt passes to Rider , and Hornblower cuts between them for an interception. Don't feel too bad about it, kid; the quod blows in Hornblower 's hands, and Twin Peaks loses another sparrow.00:56:01 - 00:59:00 : Twin Peaks isn't counting this strategy out just yet. Zettler grabs hold of the quod this time, and Maloney and Mahoney are in hot pursuit, while Medjid tries to run over Deverill , and Quick keeps Clapsaddle from getting too close. Zettler is almost at ease as he weaves around his guards, but he doesn't have time for distractions; Maloney and Mahoney dance around him, showboating as they block his every attempt at a shot, and the quod's time is ticking away. Almost without warning, Zettler dead-drops straight down from his position and grannies a pass toward Clapsaddle . Mahoney and Maloney , caught off guard, slam straight into each other, Quick intercepts the pass, and Quick and Clapsaddle are engulfed in a cloud of feathers. Quick is out. Down on the ground, a chant begins from the cheerleaders: “MAHONEY AND MALONEY SITTIN’ IN A TREE, C-R-A-S-H-I-N-G.” The rhythm is a little off, but the spirit’s there.00:59:01 - 01:02:00 : Horvat gets the quod again, and she's taking it to the pot. But she's got a tail. Opposing Captain Kuyper is on her heels all the way down the pitch, no matter how hard Horvat tries to shake her. De Witt breaks free from his guards and hurries to help. Horvat is an independent woman and doesn't need help, though—she (figuratively) stomps on those broom brakes and forces her tailgater to slam into her from behind. Before anyone can decide if that's a foul, Kuyper goes to yank the quod from Horvat 's hands. And maybe pull her hair, if it just happens to be there. A tussle breaks out in the middle of the pitch, stopped either by Mr. Youngblood's whistle or an explosion of feathers that nearly knocks both girls off their broom. Either way, while no one's eliminated, both Kuyper and Horvat are sent to the penalty box for two minutes, which should give Horvat time to clean up her bloody nose if she wants.01:02:01 - 01:03:00 : Maloney takes advantage of the excitement and confusion, and wastes no time at all before he nails another three, bringing the score 11 - 9 for Twin Peaks.01:03:01 - 01:05:00 : Worldpeace gets the quod on the next round, and despite his unassuming name, proves to be a tough fighter. Rider tries to snipe the quod at an opportune moment, but the short-fused quod explodes in Worldpeace 's face just seconds after he escapes with it. Rider gets his hands on the next quod, though! Unfortunately for him, it's an even more volatile quod than the last. It not only bursts almost right away, he gets a mouthful of feathers along with it. Mm, tastes like bird flu.01:05:01 - 01:11:00 : Webberley takes possession of the next explodiball to hit the pitch, and Maloney , who’s gone three whole minutes without making a shot, is getting antsy. Maloney checks Webberley and tries to make off with his quod. Wrestling ain't his forte, though, and he gets a warning for throwing too many elbows before Webberley passes the quod to a waiting Clapsaddle —and Webberley is really only partially responsible for Clapsaddle getting knocked out next. It’s all Maloney ’s fault, if you think about it.01:11:01 - 01:15:00 : Everyone on the home team is getting a little tired of Maloney , and no one more than Deverill . When Medjid tries to get the quod to their top scorer, Deverill comes out of nowhere with an interception, and hucks the quod from midfield. It's an easily interceptible move, and the quod lingers on the lip of the cauldron for one heart-stopping second before it drops right in, which is a much better outcome than letting Maloney near it.01:15:01 - 01:22:00 : De Witt gets the quod this time, and with Webberley at his side they clear a path to Zettler . Twin Peaks is too desperate to get their hands on that quod again to risk passing it, and it's De Witt 's bad luck that they didn't, because it blows up in his hands. Deverill definitely isn't trying to avenge him or anything in the round after that—it's just that she and Horvat are an unstoppable force, and when they wrest control of the next quod away from a frustrated Medjid , they can't stop until Deverill sinks yet another three-pointer. From a much more reasonable distance this time.01:22:01 - 01:26:00 : Peckenpaugh has taken the lead, 13 - 11, but there's still plenty of players left on the field. Zettler and Deverill are (almost literally) on the ball the second it comes into play, and they only just start working their way up the field when Deverill 's hot streak comes to an end with a burst of feathers, and she's on the bench. Barely three minutes later, Duke takes a seat next to her, getting feathered a few feet from the pot.01:26:01 - 01:29:00 : It's a familiar sight when the next round starts: the ball goes to Maloney , and he's headed for the pot. Webberley is close behind him, Zettler prepares for an interception when he winds up for a shot—and the quod explodes before it leaves his hands. Maloney graciously takes the L and heads for the sidelines, though not before throwing Deverill a wink. Hmm.01:29:01 - 01:31:00 : Another hot shot falls victim to a short-lived quod in the next round, and Zettler will have feathers in his hair for the rest of the day after spending barely a minute with the latest quod.01:31:01 - 01:42:00 : Control of the game is slipping away from Twin Peaks, but they can still win. Kuyper hurls a desperate Hail Mary shot over Horvat 's outstretched arms and gets another three points for Twin Peaks, taking back the lead at 13 - 14. When she tries to follow up with a similarly impressive shot in the next round, she runs out of time, and Captain Kuyper is the next one to leave the field. Mahoney joins her on the next round, and everyone agrees it was entirely his own fault.01:42:01 - 01:47:00 : It's Horvat , Webberley and Gildersleeves against Drexel and Medjid now, with less than twenty minutes left to play, and both teams know the game could tip either way at this point. Defender Drexel leaps into action to get possession of the quod for the first time all game, and immediately tries to get rid of it. Horvat makes an easy interception and lets Webberley and Gildersleeves handle the others as she slips up the pitch and sinks a three-pointer. At 16 - 14, Peckenpaugh is (just barely) back in the lead.01:47:01 - 01:48:00 : Horvat doesn't get the chance to repeat her performance in the next round, though; the temperamental quod blows in under a minute, and it's two-on-two on the pitch.01:48:01 - 01:52:00 : But not for long. Drexel 's second time with the quod doesn't go much better than the first. Gildersleeves and Webberley won't let him get around them until they see feathers, and the second-to-last member of the Twin Peaks team hits the bench.01:52:01 - 01:54:00 : Gildersleeves and Webberley versus Medjid in the middle of the pitch. The next quod comes into play and Gildersleeves nabs it easily. He passes to Webberley while he handles Medjid and gives him enough time to get up the field. You don't need to tell Webberley what to do; as soon as he has the quod, he's zipping away, unconcerned with Gildersleeves and Medjid , focused squarely on the pot and—oh. All these feathers, too. The quaking quod wasn't about to let Webberley get anywhere near that pot, and he's out, with six minutes left to play.01:54:01 - 01:59:59 : Gildersleeves and Medjid both know what's on the line. If the clock runs out, the game is Peckenpaugh's. But if Gildersleeves loses the quod before he can get it in the pot, Twin Peaks ekes out a win. The quod goes up, and it's a risky move, but Gildersleeves refuses to let Medjid have it. The advantage is Medjid 's as Gildersleeves guns for their goal. Her job is to slow him down and get that quod to blow, and she taunts and teases the whole way, diving in his path and grabbing for the quod, forcing him to jostle the metaphorical ticking time bomb. Gildersleeves , undeterred, fights his way past her, spinning and diving down the field. He just needs a shot. One, clear shot. One he can't get with Medjid hanging over his head, or waiting just behind him, arms outstretched, hoping he'll slip up. Less than thirty seconds left, the quod starts to feel hot. It doesn't have thirty seconds left. It doesn’t have ten seconds left. Gildersleeves can't wait any longer, and he takes the shot.02:00:00 : The quod hits the pot, and Mr. Youngblood blows his whistle. The goal is good, and time is up, ya hooligans. 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 PECKENPAUGH WINS 18 - 14!
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ON THE PITCH: Tybalt
With this combined with his promise to Laszlo to not get injured, which also weighs on his mind a little more seriously than he thought, it's with a healthy dose of self-doubt that Tybalt hits the pitch, today. The result is he tries this new thing called teamwork. And that, miraculously, seems to have been the right move. He doesn't score anything himself, but he's part of some good passes and plays that set good things up for his team. And he lasts a lot longer than most. It's not a bad day. Thank god. He doesn't try to glory-hog at all, but seeks out everyone on his team to congratulate (making a POINT to hang off Felicity for a moment and crow what a good JOB she did and what a good TEAM they make.) He lands amid celebration with an uncharacteristically soft sigh of relief.
ON THE PITCH: Tybalt & Laszlo
Cheerleaders start breaking the line, and Laszlo slips past the Addams twins with a quiet I'll be right back. Soon he's standing in front of Tybalt, and the first thing he does is pluck a feather from his wild hair. "Mites," he 'explains'.
ON THE PITCH: Tybalt & Laszlo
ON THE PITCH: Tybalt & Laszlo
"Wait," he interjects before Tybalt can muss his curls any further. "I can—" He doesn't want to give any warning, just in case he's stopped. Laszlo reaches out and brushes his hand through Tybalt's hair.
ON THE PITCH: Tybalt & Laszlo
It's mostly a joke.
ON THE PITCH: Tybalt & Laszlo
Laszlo sighs, defeated, but Tybalt looks just fine even with his hair in tangles, full of bits of feathers. He always does. "Take a shower tonight. I—you can just brush them out."
He picks out the most complete feather he found in Tybalt's hair, looks at it for a second, then pockets it. It's not the weirdest thing Tybalt's seen Laszlo keep for undisclosed reasons. "Congratulations."
ON THE PITCH: Tybalt & Laszlo
ON THE PITCH: Tybalt & Laszlo
Laszlo doesn't know why he can't do this without the preamble and misdirection. He should say something more tender.
"Are you allergic to dander?" Maybe next time.