Posted in the cafeteria, written in perfect handwriting.

[chirographic]

I WILL ANONYMOUSLY DESTROY ITEMS FOR YOU

Do you own an item you wish was broken beyond repair, but you don't want to face the consequences of doing it yourself? Are you concerned that breaking said item will result in a curse being laid upon you? If so, there is finally a solution to your problem.

This anonymous destruction service will provide you with the following benefits and security assurances:

• No fingerprints. We will provide the courtesy of wiping them for you.
  
• Remote destruction. No sentient being will be cursed in the aftermath.
  
• No paper trail or witnesses. All transactions will be done without us meeting.
  
• Items must be no bigger than a medium-sized cat.
  
• We are not responsible for items broken that you didn't want to be broken. We assume on good faith that submitted items are unwanted, or maybe just wanted in several smaller pieces.
  
• Leave your item with a dragot taped to it under the tree that looks like it has abs.

Comments

Re: OOC CHATTER

[chirographic]

Mess cleanup charge not included in the original fee.