doing great !!

[princeofcat]

i know you all planned to make tomorrow’s party about me, but I’m here to ask you to please consider sparing the trouble and give Claudia her due praise instead. She needs it more . And more gifts, because she just turned ancient, which I’m sure requires much more emotional support.

[wards very erased very quickly! Never mind]
Deeplurk Jr Boys]
So funny story.

[...]

[Lydia]
So. Funny story.

Comments

[nublada]

My old bones, Tybalt. They ache.

[princeofcat]

I have no way to empathize with this as I’m in the prime of my life but yikes. Actually, can you even go to parties anymore? Will this be past your bedtime?

[nublada]

I plan on falling asleep on the couch with my mouth hanging open about an hour after the party begins, but I have to be there to celebrate your quickly fading youth.

[princeofcat]

That does sound like a big night. Quickly fading nothing, I’m immortal.

[bratsquatch]

pocket is the one you gotta tell

[princeofcat]

She usually peeks on these, doesn’t she?

[filigreed]

Yeah, but this gift is gonna be real weird to give to Claudia.

[princeofcat]

We’re practically the same person, maybe not.

What is it?

[filigreed]

You need more hair. And more boobs.

Thought it wasn't for you anymore.

[princeofcat]

If I had any more hair it’d gain its own sentience and I don’t think I want boobs, this’ll have to do.

Maybe I want to vet them. Quality control.

[filigreed]

Ah, but what a handsome this is is.

Still isn't yours anymore. But: Had to learn some anatomy.

[princeofcat]

Hush.
Well what if I want just one present. Because what kind of anatomy.
Claudia hates science

[filigreed]

Don't hush me.

You-anatomy. And, well, if she hates science. Can't give her something she hates.

[princeofcat]

It’d be positively rude. I guess I’ll have to keep just one.

[filigreed]

I guess I can change the gift tag back again. Maybe.

[princeofcat]

Maybe?
I’m never trying out generosity again, I hate it.

[filigreed]

There's only so much space on the tag, Sarge.

[princeofcat]

So write teeny tiny, I'll be able to see.

[Lydia]
[...]You have to say yes because it's my birthday but I'll pose this as a question: wanna skirt curfew? We can go to the diner or something.

[filigreed]

Or I'll just give you Claudia's present.

[Tybalt]

Of course I do. You're contractually obligated to let me buy you food.

[princeofcat]

You know what, I like that better. Illusion of illegality.

[Lydia]
Unless somehow we could get it for free.
Flirt with Malstrom kids.
Rat and dash.
Endless possibilities.

[filigreed]

Poor girl's been giftnapped.

[Tybalt]

Gonna flirt a whole meal out of some Malstrom kids now? Again: We need more collective boobs for that.

Tybalt/Lydia

[princeofcat]

I think you're overestimating boobs, here. I've never once needed them in my life.

Tybalt/Lydia

[filigreed]

Guess you've got all those pretty curls to make up for them.

[negligently]

[damnnearkilledem]

Here's my dilemma: my gift to you was going to be some type of blood sacrifice to grant you more power but if I give that to Claudia I'm worried she may become too powerful.

[nublada]

I promise to only use it for good!

[damnnearkilledem]

And therein lies the problem.

[princeofcat]

I swear on everything I’ve ever even liked I would never use it for good.

[damnnearkilledem]

And you would've gotten so much use out of it, too, I'm sure.

[princeofcat]

Now I’ve just gotta get enough power to thwart her without the sacrifice. Maybe you’ve just given me an origin story

[damnnearkilledem]

Oooo, I'd be honored if you could mention me in the acknowledgments section of your criminal memoirs.

[princeofcat]

You kidding, if this is the spark, you’ll get a whole chapter.