peckenpaugh | (no subject)

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So my mom mailed me like a bunch of articles. And YOU GUYS, the Blob is REAL and it's on display in a zoo in Paris.

It doesn't have a brain, but it still learns things. Which. Relatable. It self-heals. Which. Less relatable, but still impressive. And it doesn't have a mouth, but it's like REAL into oatmeal, apparently? Which, no accounting for taste. But, again, no brain. So. Forgivable. Also it has like 720 sexes? So it's basically a brainless, mutant, gender fluidity icon.

Also, they've found a horrifying, giant (No really: SUPER BIG!) parasitic wasp in Uganda that lays its murder babies INSIDE other insects so they can burst out of their skin later. But that's a totally different story that nobody really wants to deal with.

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Aw, the oatmeal thing humanizes it a little.

I think it's really interesting that something without a brain (or a stomach) has food preferences to begin with.

And what flavor of oatmeal? They didn't mention the flavor in any of the articles.

Sentience: always surprising.

Do you think they're withholding the full menu of oatmeal options from the blob? What about steel cut versus instant?

Do you think it just violently dissolves itself away from things that taste bad?

I hope not. That'd be rude. And not scientific. Addendum: What about the kind with the little dinosaurs?

That's exactly how I respond to cooked cabbage. So, it is very within the realm of possibility.

There's oatmeal with dinosaurs?

Return to the hive(not-a-)mind with better understanding of cursed food items.

There definitely is. They're in little eggs and they hatch when you heat the oatmeal. It was pretty much all my brother ate for six straight months. So, yes. Can confirm.

Yes, exactly. Cedar and Willow regularly make me try things that seem [...] inhospitable to human stomachs so that I can let them know for sure.

[...]

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Are they real dinosaurs?

Seems a bit unfair. What knowledge of cursed things are they bringing back to the hive(not-a-)mind?

No. They're sugar dinosaurs. Fortunately. Considering the whole consumption thing.

Cedar brings valuable whittling knowledge. We are both trying to decide if Willow needs to be temporarily severed until she produces something valuable. Like a quest.

Meaty oatmeal didn't sound appetizing. Sugar dinosaurs are much more acceptable.

Is the quest to procure reattachment? Or does she need to bring the two you a quest in order to remain attached?

I mean, you COULD put bacon in it. Bacon's breakfast meat.

I was thinking she could bring us a rare artifact and if we deem it sufficiently impressive she gets to rejoin the hive. An ark, maybe. Arks are always impressive.

Not much of a bacon person, myself. I wonder if the Blob is.

Huh. I feel like I need to be putting my siblings through more trials.

Might be weird to eat an animal when nobody's entirely certain if you're an animal or a fungus or something else entirely.

Oh, absolutely. The more you torment, the more they know you're spending your time thinking of them.

Uninhibited by such labels, the Blob is. I can feel it.